Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Monday, February 25, 2008
Priceless Seeds
The "Doomsday" seed vault in Norway is now open:
Just a thought.
Dubbed the "Doomsday Vault," the seed bank is considered the ultimate safety net for the world's seed collections, protecting them from a wide range of threats including war, natural disasters, lack of funding or simply poor agricultural management.I'm not saying this is a bad idea, but if something like global warming destroys all of the seeds outside the vault and makes growing those crops impossible, then where do they plan on planting the seeds inside the vault?
The Norwegian government paid to build the vault in a mountainside near Longyearbyen, in the remote Svalbard islands between Norway and the North Pole...
The Svalbard Global Seed Vault, as it is officially known, can hold as many as 4.5 million seed samples and will eventually house almost every variety of most important food crops in the world, according to the Global Crop Diversity Trust...
The vault's location deep inside a mountain in the frozen north ensures the seeds can be stored safely no matter what happens outside.
"We believe the design of the facility will ensure that the seeds will stay well-preserved even if such forces as global warming raise temperatures outside the facility," said Magnus Bredeli Tveiten, project manager for the Norwegian government.
Just a thought.
Monday, February 11, 2008
They Walk Among Us
From the TronHunter comes the latest Darwin Awards – proves that some have not climbed very far up the evolutionary ladder.
The Winner is:
1. A Robber and His Pistol
When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again.
This time it worked.
2. The Chef and Insurance Agent
The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cutting machine and, after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.
3. Snow Storms
A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space.
Understandably, he shot her.
4. Never Accept A Free Ride
After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies.
The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.
5. Train Science
An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was
hit.
6. New Age Method of Donating.
A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled,
leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer... $15.
[If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?]
7. Beer, Bricks & Windows
Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.
8. A Time to Speak Your Mind and a Time to Mind Your Speech.
As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in
the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."
9. Simple Safe for Simple Minds
The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti , Michigan , at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away. [*A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER]
10. Zen and The Art of Gas Theft
When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.
In the interest of bettering mankind, please share these with your friends and family... unless of course one of these individuals by chance is a distant relative or long-lost friend. In that case, be glad they are distant and hope they remain lost.
The Winner is:
1. A Robber and His Pistol
When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again.
This time it worked.
2. The Chef and Insurance Agent
The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cutting machine and, after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.
3. Snow Storms
A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space.
Understandably, he shot her.
4. Never Accept A Free Ride
After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies.
The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.
5. Train Science
An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was
hit.
6. New Age Method of Donating.
A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled,
leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer... $15.
[If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?]
7. Beer, Bricks & Windows
Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.
8. A Time to Speak Your Mind and a Time to Mind Your Speech.
As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in
the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."
9. Simple Safe for Simple Minds
The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti , Michigan , at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away. [*A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER]
10. Zen and The Art of Gas Theft
When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.
In the interest of bettering mankind, please share these with your friends and family... unless of course one of these individuals by chance is a distant relative or long-lost friend. In that case, be glad they are distant and hope they remain lost.
Sunday, February 10, 2008
Back Again
Sorry to have fallen off the face of the virtual world but life got in the way. Things have calmed down and I’ll be blogging again.
Sunday, August 19, 2007
Always Wondered If It Was More Than The Uniform
A Marine is drinking in a New York bar, when he gets a call on his cell phone. He hangs up, grinning from ear to ear, and orders a round of drinks for everybody in the bar, announcing his wife has just given birth to a typical Marine baby boy weighing 25 pounds .
Nobody can believe that any new baby can weigh in at 25 pounds, but the Marine just shrugs and replies, "That's about average back home, folks, like I said, my boy's a typical Marine Corps baby boy." Gonna be a true United States Marine"
Congratulations showered him from all around, amid many exclamations of "WOW!" One woman actually fainted due to sympathy pains.
Two weeks later, he returns to the bar. The bartender says, "Say, aren't you the father of that typical Marine baby that weighed 25 pounds at birth? Everybody's been making bets about how big he'd be in two weeks. So,
how much does he weigh now?"
The proud father answers, "Seventeen pounds."
The bartender is puzzled, concerned and a little suspicious. "What happened? He already weighed 25 pounds the day he was born!"
The Marine father takes a slow swig of his beer, wipes his lips on his shirt sleeve, leans into the bartender and proudly says, "Had him circumcised."
Hat Tip to Hop-a-Long
Nobody can believe that any new baby can weigh in at 25 pounds, but the Marine just shrugs and replies, "That's about average back home, folks, like I said, my boy's a typical Marine Corps baby boy." Gonna be a true United States Marine"
Congratulations showered him from all around, amid many exclamations of "WOW!" One woman actually fainted due to sympathy pains.
Two weeks later, he returns to the bar. The bartender says, "Say, aren't you the father of that typical Marine baby that weighed 25 pounds at birth? Everybody's been making bets about how big he'd be in two weeks. So,
how much does he weigh now?"
The proud father answers, "Seventeen pounds."
The bartender is puzzled, concerned and a little suspicious. "What happened? He already weighed 25 pounds the day he was born!"
The Marine father takes a slow swig of his beer, wipes his lips on his shirt sleeve, leans into the bartender and proudly says, "Had him circumcised."
Hat Tip to Hop-a-Long
Saturday, August 18, 2007
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Why You Should Only Drink With Friends
Why You Should Only Travel With Friends
A Kiwi was sitting with an Aussie and an Englishman in Saudi Arabia, sharinga smuggled barrel of beer, when all of a sudden the police entered and arrested them.
They were tried in one of those fair Saudi kangaroo courts and sentenced to death. However, out of the goodness of their heart, the appeals court commuted the sentence to life in prison. But as it was a national holiday, so the Sheikh decided to release them after each received 20 lashes of the whip.
As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheikh suddenly said: "It's my first wife's birthday today and she asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping, but you can not wish to not be whipped!"
The Englishman thought for a second then said: "Please tie a pillow to my back before whipping." This was done but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes before the whip went through. The Englishman cried in pain.
The Kiwi was next up, but learned from the Brit and said: "Please tie 2 pillows to my back before whipping." This was done and lasted for the whole 20 lashes.
The Kiwi stood up smiling.
Before he Aussie could make his wish, the Sheikh said:"As you are from The land down under with women of breathtaking beauty you are permitted to have two wishes!"
The Aussi thought for a second, then said: "Thank you most Royal and Merciful Highness. My first wish is to receive a hundred lashes with the strongest, toughest whip available."
"If you so desire," the Sheikh replies with a questioning look on his face,"and your second wish?"
"Tie the Kiwi to my back"
A Kiwi was sitting with an Aussie and an Englishman in Saudi Arabia, sharinga smuggled barrel of beer, when all of a sudden the police entered and arrested them.
They were tried in one of those fair Saudi kangaroo courts and sentenced to death. However, out of the goodness of their heart, the appeals court commuted the sentence to life in prison. But as it was a national holiday, so the Sheikh decided to release them after each received 20 lashes of the whip.
As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheikh suddenly said: "It's my first wife's birthday today and she asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping, but you can not wish to not be whipped!"
The Englishman thought for a second then said: "Please tie a pillow to my back before whipping." This was done but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes before the whip went through. The Englishman cried in pain.
The Kiwi was next up, but learned from the Brit and said: "Please tie 2 pillows to my back before whipping." This was done and lasted for the whole 20 lashes.
The Kiwi stood up smiling.
Before he Aussie could make his wish, the Sheikh said:"As you are from The land down under with women of breathtaking beauty you are permitted to have two wishes!"
The Aussi thought for a second, then said: "Thank you most Royal and Merciful Highness. My first wish is to receive a hundred lashes with the strongest, toughest whip available."
"If you so desire," the Sheikh replies with a questioning look on his face,"and your second wish?"
"Tie the Kiwi to my back"
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